The Ultimate Scam

You would think/hope that there wouldn’t be people out there stupid enough to fall for this … buuuttt.

Enlightened individuals, those who stay awake at nights wondering what they can do to prevent the polar caps from melting, at least have a growing menu of choices.

Sydney-based Easy Being Green says it will mitigate your cat’s flatulent contribution to global warming for A$8 ($6). The same company could also make your granny “carbon-neutral'’ at A$10 a year.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! It gets better!

Then there’s Carbon Planet Pty … if you are hopping on a short-haul flight between Sydney and Canberra, and feeling bad about the damage you are doing to the ecosystem, you can buy credits worth A$23, for which the Adelaide-based company will guarantee to keep 1 ton of carbon dioxide out of the air for 100 years.

That’s right … if you feel guilty that you aren’t “carbon-neutral” you can send money to these companies, and they “guarantee” that “they” will reduce carbon dioxide. They, of course, don’t tell you how they will do it (I checked), but they’ll take your money just the same.

I have sent an email to Easy Being Green in order to understand just how they will reduce carbon dioxide.

With companies like this telling you your cat’s fart will destroy the world … no wonder kids can’t sleep at night. I’m waiting for some children to go Jeffrey Dahmer on their pet in order to save the world. What happens when they turn on Granny?

Al Gore didn’t invent the carbon-neutral lifestyle … though he might tell you he did. Gore did help propel it as modern day chic. At least his website is free to calculate your carbon-neutrality. Fact is … some entrepreneur scam artist saw Gore’s website and understood that many morons are, in fact, idiots.

The idea that anyone can believe that a cat’s, dog’s, cow’s, or human’s farts/burps can destroy the world is uber asinine. To come to that conclusion you will have to believe one of two things:

1. (If religious) God has no long term plan for us, and designed us specifically to destroy the world, or worse yet … he made a mistake.
2. (If not religious) Mother Earth is suicidal. Why would Earth foster the creation of creatures whose own natural bodily functions would eventually destroy it?

Neither of those options make any sense. There is a third option you might want to explore:

• It’s all … ahem … hot air.

Even if you do believe mankind is responsible for some global warming (volcanoes contribute more than we do) … you can’t possibly believe that the flatulence of our pets and ourselves has doomed us … can you?

If you really feel so guilty about contributing to global warming … why not make an effort to curb your habits? Perhaps give Beano to every animal you come in contact with.

Why would you be so stupid as to send money to a company that will pinkie-swear “promise” that they will reduce greenhouse gases by several to hundreds of tons on your behalf? They don’t send you any products to help you become more carbon-neutral, or even go into detail about how they will use your money for that said purpose. Instead … they send you a certificate that they will “promise” to do as they promised.

I’m even willing to bet the certificate doesn’t come on recycled paper.

Like I always say: “Save the planet … eat a cow.”